Here we are... Week 5.
This week was more lazy than last. I finished the kitchen wall paint and was working on the kitchen cabinets. I'm still not done. I also worked and went grocery shopping.
On Monday, I went to work for about 2 hours and then I went grocery shopping. I went to Aldi, Target, and Payless. It was exhausting. People are rude. I know you're scared but it doesn't mean you should be rude to me. I also had a migraine all day so I went to bed early that night
Tuesday: I worked again. I also worked out. I also spent all day doing laundry. I think i did like 5 loads, which for 2 people is a lot. On top of doing these, I also dug out my sewing machine and sewed a few things.
Wednesday: I worked on the cabinets. Folded the said laundry. This evening I played a game of settlers with my sister and Adopted sister via Zoom
Thursday: I worked, I worked on the cabinet. I cleaned the bedroom. Then in the evening, we went to my mothers-in-law. We ate dinner with them and got some eggs.
Friday: It's my longest day at work. I actually go to a client so it's about an 8-9 hour day.
Like I said, It was a lazy wee
Quarantine Week 4
I still haven't learned how to spell quarantine. Spell check on my computer and Grammarly on my web browser is throwing tons of fits at me.
I had meant to upload some pictures with this post but my phone cord is in the other room and I'm not taking unnecessary steps today lol.
This week started by me getting the idea to finally paint my kitchen. I've lived here for 3 years and I've wanted to paint it every single day that I've lived here.
The walls, trim and ceiling were painted this beige/tan color ( I can't tell the difference between these two colors.) The floor is the light fake wood floating floor so everything in my kitchen was the same color. When I moved in 3 years ago, I had always wanted dark kitchen cabinets. So one of the first big DIY I did was paint my kitchen cabinets (Which at the beginning matched the floor color). I painted them this really pretty dark chocolate color which I liked until I hung the doors back up 3 years ago, and then I hated it. It made the kitchen look so dark.
For the last year, I've wanted to repaint the cabinets, paint the walls and the ceiling. But I've just never gotten around to it. Well... this was the week that I did it.
So back in January, I took this beautiful kitchen rug into Home depot and they matched the color in the rug. SO last week I went and got the paint, and got started.
I painted the cabinets white, the trim white and the walls this pretty color called "Sophisticated Teal"
And like all projects, it takes double as long. My goal was to be done in 3 days but I started on Monday and here it is Friday and I still have 2 walls of crown molding, 2 walls of trim and 1 window to paint white. I also have a small section of wall to finish with the teal and I still have all the cabinet doors to finish (I hate doors.)
It's going to take me a few more... days..weeks.months?? I can live without my cabinet doors so I'm working on getting the kitchen usable again and everything out of my living room. Then I will focus on the doors. But Man... I love this new color. It really makes this house feel like mine. I've wanted this kitchen painted for so long and now it is. I just want to go sit in my kitchen on the floor and stare at how beautiful the walls look. Eventually, I will get around to painting the ceiling white and it will make a load of difference.
I didn't just paint this week. On Monday, I went on a 3-mile bike ride and I about killed myself. Monday afternoon, I worked in the backyard. I scooped dog poop, mowed, pulled out the garden hose and tried to plan on what vegetables I'm thinking of planting. Tuesday I spent the whole day outside between sanding the cabinet doors and painting the kitchen. Wednesday, I painted all day. Except for when I let the dogs out and when I took breaks. Thursday, I didn't do anything in the morning because I had a migraine but it went away by the afternoon and I was able to tape and paint again. The only thing exciting that happened on Thursday was I had to run to Lowe's and Nick's grandparents live between my house and lowes. I called his grandma and told her that I was going to ding dong ditch them. I then had to explain what that means. But we were able to wave at each other and to see each other's smiles.
Today I worked. I worked a little on Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday, First thing in the morning. But today I pulled a 9-hour shift. Which probably doesn't sound like much but I've been self-employed for almost a year, I never work longer than 5-6 shifts at a time. So I got home and painted again. Then I called my cousin and after the phone call, I worked for another hour or so. Then I decided it was time to write this.
That folks, Was my week 4 in Quarantine. Since I'm self-employed, I don't feel like it's affected me a whole bunch. I don't normally go anywhere anyways but I'm started to see other people's boredness and it's started to create some of my own.
I'm looking forward to finishing my kitchen next week. Actually getting housework done and maybe, since it's going to be cold, maybe I will get my sewing machine out and sew.
I had meant to upload some pictures with this post but my phone cord is in the other room and I'm not taking unnecessary steps today lol.
This week started by me getting the idea to finally paint my kitchen. I've lived here for 3 years and I've wanted to paint it every single day that I've lived here.
The walls, trim and ceiling were painted this beige/tan color ( I can't tell the difference between these two colors.) The floor is the light fake wood floating floor so everything in my kitchen was the same color. When I moved in 3 years ago, I had always wanted dark kitchen cabinets. So one of the first big DIY I did was paint my kitchen cabinets (Which at the beginning matched the floor color). I painted them this really pretty dark chocolate color which I liked until I hung the doors back up 3 years ago, and then I hated it. It made the kitchen look so dark.
For the last year, I've wanted to repaint the cabinets, paint the walls and the ceiling. But I've just never gotten around to it. Well... this was the week that I did it.
So back in January, I took this beautiful kitchen rug into Home depot and they matched the color in the rug. SO last week I went and got the paint, and got started.
I painted the cabinets white, the trim white and the walls this pretty color called "Sophisticated Teal"
And like all projects, it takes double as long. My goal was to be done in 3 days but I started on Monday and here it is Friday and I still have 2 walls of crown molding, 2 walls of trim and 1 window to paint white. I also have a small section of wall to finish with the teal and I still have all the cabinet doors to finish (I hate doors.)
It's going to take me a few more... days..weeks.months?? I can live without my cabinet doors so I'm working on getting the kitchen usable again and everything out of my living room. Then I will focus on the doors. But Man... I love this new color. It really makes this house feel like mine. I've wanted this kitchen painted for so long and now it is. I just want to go sit in my kitchen on the floor and stare at how beautiful the walls look. Eventually, I will get around to painting the ceiling white and it will make a load of difference.
I didn't just paint this week. On Monday, I went on a 3-mile bike ride and I about killed myself. Monday afternoon, I worked in the backyard. I scooped dog poop, mowed, pulled out the garden hose and tried to plan on what vegetables I'm thinking of planting. Tuesday I spent the whole day outside between sanding the cabinet doors and painting the kitchen. Wednesday, I painted all day. Except for when I let the dogs out and when I took breaks. Thursday, I didn't do anything in the morning because I had a migraine but it went away by the afternoon and I was able to tape and paint again. The only thing exciting that happened on Thursday was I had to run to Lowe's and Nick's grandparents live between my house and lowes. I called his grandma and told her that I was going to ding dong ditch them. I then had to explain what that means. But we were able to wave at each other and to see each other's smiles.
Today I worked. I worked a little on Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday, First thing in the morning. But today I pulled a 9-hour shift. Which probably doesn't sound like much but I've been self-employed for almost a year, I never work longer than 5-6 shifts at a time. So I got home and painted again. Then I called my cousin and after the phone call, I worked for another hour or so. Then I decided it was time to write this.
That folks, Was my week 4 in Quarantine. Since I'm self-employed, I don't feel like it's affected me a whole bunch. I don't normally go anywhere anyways but I'm started to see other people's boredness and it's started to create some of my own.
I'm looking forward to finishing my kitchen next week. Actually getting housework done and maybe, since it's going to be cold, maybe I will get my sewing machine out and sew.
Quarantine Week 3
We are at the end of week 3 and my life really hasn't changed a whole lot. I've worked from home the last six months so that's not really any different. A few things have changed. Before this, I didn't really grocery shop for longer than three or four days at a time. Because I live less than 1 mile from the grocery store, I would just run there whenever I needed anything. Now I'm trying to prepare a shopping list that would last us at least 10 days. It looks like I did a good job because we're at 10 days now and we still have food!
Another thing that has changed is that I'm now working out at home instead of the gym. This has been surprisingly enjoyable. 3 years ago, My old job did a fitness program and I lost a good amount of weight. But then that program ended and I got engaged. I love nick, but he would rather eat out. After we got married, I got on birth control and we weren't eating healthy. I gained about 45 pounds in 18 months. So over a year ago, I decided to start working out again. I really do like working out because it helps with my anxiety. I started working out at home for 3 months and I couldn't stick with it, so I got a gym membership at the beginning of 2019. I didn't stay as committed as I wanted to but after I became self-employed i was pretty good about going 2-3 times a week. Since working out at home, I've worked about 4 days a week since quarantine started! I was telling my friend earlier this week that I actually really like this home workout and I'm thinking about quitting my gym membership. Honestly, I need the gym to get the motivation to do it at home. I've hit more of my fitness goals in the last 3 weeks working out at home then I did working out at the gym for the year.
Another perk is that I've been able to stay on top of my laundry but I've been baking more so my dishes have gone downhill. But I've found the best bread recipe. Last week I made cookies, blueberry coffee cake, bread, rolls and I tried to make hamburger buns (Don't ask. these didn't turn out at all.)
I've also been able to spend a lot more time studying my bible. I still have bible study homework to do and BSF homework to do but I'm staying more caught up.
One of the verses that I've read in a book, saw on Facebook and read in my devotion lately, So I know that the Lord wanted me to see it so that it would stick in my head.
Psalm 91:5 "You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day."
I thought I'd leave you with a quote I saw on Pinterest.
"The Fear of the unknown is so powerful, it convinces us to stay in the misery of our current situation simply because we already know it." Tory Eletto
My Miscarriage Story
This has taken me a long time to write. Like really write... I started this back in December and here it is April. I've started it and stopped it. I've deleted things and add things. I'm worried that it will be too much information. I'm worried that it will feel detached. So I almost didn't want to write this post. Part of me wanted to just shove it under the rug, pretend it didn't happen and move on. The other part of me wants to tell everyone because I'm a people person and I heal by telling others.
On November 21st at 11 pm, I miscarried. I was 5 weeks and 3 days along. I had been bleed for a few days, so I knew that it was happening but it was still the hardest thing physically and emotionally that I have ever gone through.
1 in 4 women will have a miscarriage in their life. I never thought that I would be 1 in 4. Actually, up until the day I found out I was pregnant, I had never ever thought that I would miscarry. I had friends that miscarried but it never crossed my mind. But what expectant mother thinks they will miscarry? According to my experience, The only expectant mother that thinks she will miscarry is the mother that has miscarried before.
I've wanted kids for as long as I can remember. Honest, I think I started dreaming about having kids when I was 12 or 13. I have a bunch of older cousins that had children when I was in my late teens, and I couldn't wait to be a mom.
Last Spring, I went off birth control. Mostly for my migraines but also because Nick and I had decided to think about trying. Then in the middle of planning, life throws a curveball. I became self-employed unexpectedly and we weren't sure when would the time be right.
In August, We "threw" out the condoms, in a way. My parents struggled with getting pregnant and my mom told me once that they tried for months with each pregnancy. My cousin also struggled. So I have also naturally assumed that we would struggle too. So in August, we said if we get pregnant, we get pregnant. But neither of us thought we would.
At the end of August, My period didn't come, but I had a negative pregnancy test. After a couple of days, I talked to my mom about it. Life was super stressful at that time, with leaving my job and some family issues. After 2 weeks with no period, I went to my family doctor. She did an in-office pregnancy test and a blood test. Both came back negative.
Now it's the beginning of September, and I'm someone who has a super regular cycle. My Family Doctor told me that if my period didn't start in 3 weeks to all my OB-GYM.
On October first, I called my OB-GYM and explained what had happened. I went to see her 3 days later. She said that she wanted to do some labs but she thought the problem was that I didn't ovulate because I was stressed. So I went on progesterone for 10 days to start a period and because I was in she called in some medication that helps you ovulate My Doctor is the same doctor that my mom goes to, so she knew all family history. She said that if we didn't get pregnant in 3 months that I should come back in.
So we went on with our normal life, both of us thinking that it would take us a few months.
November 6th, I had lunch with my mom and I told her that I felt different. I thought for sure I was pregnant. But I had taken a test and it was negative. My period wasn't due until November 11th. So I knew that it was really early.
November 9th. We went to dinner with my mother-in-law. I still felt different but I hadn't even said anything to Nick. I really wanted to be pregnant but I didn't really think I was. I felt a little nauseous after dinner but I had a migraine and when I have a migraine, I get car sick.
November 10th, I felt like crying all day. I felt like I had 2 different personalities. One personality said that I was 100% pregnant. The other told me that my period was going to start the next day. That afternoon after church, I took a nap. During my nap, I had the most realistic dream that my period started. When I woke, I wanted to cry again. Nick tried to cheer me up so we went into the office after dinner and we both played video games. But my mind was not on the video games. I felt so depressed. It was 8 pm when I went to the bathroom, My friend Sara had asked me to take a pregnancy test every day since I told her I thought I was pregnant on Wednesday. As I walked to the bathroom, I decided that I would take a pregnancy test, even though I know that it was late but I thought who knows. Let's take it. So I did.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. 2 pink lines. I could see 2 pink lines. I quickly sent a picture to Sara and was like "Do you see 2 pink lines? or are my eyes playing a trick on me?" She quickly messaged me back and said "I totally see them! What did Nick say?" As soon as she asked me this, I walked out of the bathroom and into the office, holding the pregnancy test up in the air towards the ceiling and I went "Nick, do you see 2 lines?" That folks is how I told my husband that I was pregnant. He kinda panicked. But he was happy in a panicky way.
November 11th, I called my mom and told her the test was positive. That night at bible study, I told 2 of my friends.
Nothing really happened throughout the whole week, we told nick's family and I made plans on telling mine on thanksgiving.
November 16th- I told my dad. My dad had had a stressful week and he was out burning bush. I went out to talk to Him and told me that I was pregnant. He was really excited.
November 17th, I told my little friend from church.
November 18th - I had my first midwife appointment. About 30 mins before we left, I went to the bathroom and there was blood when I wiped. I mentioned it when I was at my midwife appointment. She said that it was probably not a big deal but if I wanted to get an HCG level tested that she could arrange that.
November 19th - I woke up to a lot more blood than spotting. It wasn't enough to get on a pad but enough to be there when you went to the bathroom. I went to get an HCG level tested. I was told to rest a lot and to keep my feet up
November 20th. I didn't do anything except to watch movies and sleep all day.
November 21st - I went for another HCG Lab test. The bleed had almost stopped by that evening and I felt better. So I thought and hoped and prayed that baby would make it and I was in the clear. But I had a dread down inside. Nick went to bed but I just tossed and turned all night. Finally, at 10:45 pm I decided to take a shower. While I was in the shower, I had a gush of blood. It was more blood than I had ever seen in my life. I got light-headed looking at it. I started crying. I knew what was happening. While I was in the shower, I started cramping extremely bad. I've never cramped like that before. I went to bed but had to get up almost every 30 mins to change my pad. I woke Nick up and told him what happened and we cried together. Eventually, we fell asleep.
November 22nd- I went to work at a client office that morning because I needed to do something. Looking back, I thought maybe it would help, It did and didn't. I called the midwife as soon as the office opened and she confirmed over the phone that it did indeed sound like a miscarriage by then the blood had slowed so she didn't feel like I needed to come in.
That night we went out to my parents, I told my siblings what had happened. It about killed me because at first you saw the joy on their faces and then sadness and it wasn't supposed to be like that.
November 23rd - I called my cousin and told her.
On November 25th, I flew to my cousins for Thanksgiving and told her girls.
I know that's a lot. I learned a lot. I felt a lot. It gave me anxiety for months and while I'm not over my anxiety, I know that I will struggle when I get pregnant again, For the first few weeks, I couldn't even imagine being pregnant again. Now I'm too the point where I'm ok talking about it. I like talking about it. If it can help someone, then it will help me. I'm also ok with talking and planning on getting pregnant again. With the COVID-19, Nick is still wanting to wait a little longer and I'm ok with that.
That's my miscarriage story. If you have any questions or if you're going through a miscarriage yourself and you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to comment and message me. Please. You don't have to go through it alone. I won't forget all those people who reached out to me to tell me that they know that they've been there before.
On November 21st at 11 pm, I miscarried. I was 5 weeks and 3 days along. I had been bleed for a few days, so I knew that it was happening but it was still the hardest thing physically and emotionally that I have ever gone through.
1 in 4 women will have a miscarriage in their life. I never thought that I would be 1 in 4. Actually, up until the day I found out I was pregnant, I had never ever thought that I would miscarry. I had friends that miscarried but it never crossed my mind. But what expectant mother thinks they will miscarry? According to my experience, The only expectant mother that thinks she will miscarry is the mother that has miscarried before.
I've wanted kids for as long as I can remember. Honest, I think I started dreaming about having kids when I was 12 or 13. I have a bunch of older cousins that had children when I was in my late teens, and I couldn't wait to be a mom.
Last Spring, I went off birth control. Mostly for my migraines but also because Nick and I had decided to think about trying. Then in the middle of planning, life throws a curveball. I became self-employed unexpectedly and we weren't sure when would the time be right.
In August, We "threw" out the condoms, in a way. My parents struggled with getting pregnant and my mom told me once that they tried for months with each pregnancy. My cousin also struggled. So I have also naturally assumed that we would struggle too. So in August, we said if we get pregnant, we get pregnant. But neither of us thought we would.
At the end of August, My period didn't come, but I had a negative pregnancy test. After a couple of days, I talked to my mom about it. Life was super stressful at that time, with leaving my job and some family issues. After 2 weeks with no period, I went to my family doctor. She did an in-office pregnancy test and a blood test. Both came back negative.
Now it's the beginning of September, and I'm someone who has a super regular cycle. My Family Doctor told me that if my period didn't start in 3 weeks to all my OB-GYM.
On October first, I called my OB-GYM and explained what had happened. I went to see her 3 days later. She said that she wanted to do some labs but she thought the problem was that I didn't ovulate because I was stressed. So I went on progesterone for 10 days to start a period and because I was in she called in some medication that helps you ovulate My Doctor is the same doctor that my mom goes to, so she knew all family history. She said that if we didn't get pregnant in 3 months that I should come back in.
So we went on with our normal life, both of us thinking that it would take us a few months.
November 6th, I had lunch with my mom and I told her that I felt different. I thought for sure I was pregnant. But I had taken a test and it was negative. My period wasn't due until November 11th. So I knew that it was really early.
November 9th. We went to dinner with my mother-in-law. I still felt different but I hadn't even said anything to Nick. I really wanted to be pregnant but I didn't really think I was. I felt a little nauseous after dinner but I had a migraine and when I have a migraine, I get car sick.
November 10th, I felt like crying all day. I felt like I had 2 different personalities. One personality said that I was 100% pregnant. The other told me that my period was going to start the next day. That afternoon after church, I took a nap. During my nap, I had the most realistic dream that my period started. When I woke, I wanted to cry again. Nick tried to cheer me up so we went into the office after dinner and we both played video games. But my mind was not on the video games. I felt so depressed. It was 8 pm when I went to the bathroom, My friend Sara had asked me to take a pregnancy test every day since I told her I thought I was pregnant on Wednesday. As I walked to the bathroom, I decided that I would take a pregnancy test, even though I know that it was late but I thought who knows. Let's take it. So I did.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. 2 pink lines. I could see 2 pink lines. I quickly sent a picture to Sara and was like "Do you see 2 pink lines? or are my eyes playing a trick on me?" She quickly messaged me back and said "I totally see them! What did Nick say?" As soon as she asked me this, I walked out of the bathroom and into the office, holding the pregnancy test up in the air towards the ceiling and I went "Nick, do you see 2 lines?" That folks is how I told my husband that I was pregnant. He kinda panicked. But he was happy in a panicky way.
November 11th, I called my mom and told her the test was positive. That night at bible study, I told 2 of my friends.
Nothing really happened throughout the whole week, we told nick's family and I made plans on telling mine on thanksgiving.
November 16th- I told my dad. My dad had had a stressful week and he was out burning bush. I went out to talk to Him and told me that I was pregnant. He was really excited.
November 17th, I told my little friend from church.
November 18th - I had my first midwife appointment. About 30 mins before we left, I went to the bathroom and there was blood when I wiped. I mentioned it when I was at my midwife appointment. She said that it was probably not a big deal but if I wanted to get an HCG level tested that she could arrange that.
November 19th - I woke up to a lot more blood than spotting. It wasn't enough to get on a pad but enough to be there when you went to the bathroom. I went to get an HCG level tested. I was told to rest a lot and to keep my feet up
November 20th. I didn't do anything except to watch movies and sleep all day.
November 21st - I went for another HCG Lab test. The bleed had almost stopped by that evening and I felt better. So I thought and hoped and prayed that baby would make it and I was in the clear. But I had a dread down inside. Nick went to bed but I just tossed and turned all night. Finally, at 10:45 pm I decided to take a shower. While I was in the shower, I had a gush of blood. It was more blood than I had ever seen in my life. I got light-headed looking at it. I started crying. I knew what was happening. While I was in the shower, I started cramping extremely bad. I've never cramped like that before. I went to bed but had to get up almost every 30 mins to change my pad. I woke Nick up and told him what happened and we cried together. Eventually, we fell asleep.
November 22nd- I went to work at a client office that morning because I needed to do something. Looking back, I thought maybe it would help, It did and didn't. I called the midwife as soon as the office opened and she confirmed over the phone that it did indeed sound like a miscarriage by then the blood had slowed so she didn't feel like I needed to come in.
That night we went out to my parents, I told my siblings what had happened. It about killed me because at first you saw the joy on their faces and then sadness and it wasn't supposed to be like that.
November 23rd - I called my cousin and told her.
On November 25th, I flew to my cousins for Thanksgiving and told her girls.
I know that's a lot. I learned a lot. I felt a lot. It gave me anxiety for months and while I'm not over my anxiety, I know that I will struggle when I get pregnant again, For the first few weeks, I couldn't even imagine being pregnant again. Now I'm too the point where I'm ok talking about it. I like talking about it. If it can help someone, then it will help me. I'm also ok with talking and planning on getting pregnant again. With the COVID-19, Nick is still wanting to wait a little longer and I'm ok with that.
That's my miscarriage story. If you have any questions or if you're going through a miscarriage yourself and you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to comment and message me. Please. You don't have to go through it alone. I won't forget all those people who reached out to me to tell me that they know that they've been there before.
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